Trigger warning: self-harm mention
Sat in a really long six hour rehearsal for an upcoming performance, and we just had our photos taken for the programme. The photos of me on the camera were so unbelievably unattractive that I just burst out crying. I've been relatively comfortable with my body and looks for a while, and today has just brought all of that crashing down. It's made me really want to self-harm again to punish myself for being so utterly hideous. I want to slash and physically cut parts of my body off. What the actual fuck is wrong with me? This is not a normal reaction, especially when I've felt so fine about my body for so long. I can't believe that something so small can give me such an intense reaction. I'm meant to be all body-positive and stuff, but when it's me that can all go out of the window in a matter of seconds. I feel like such a fraud.
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