Trigger warning: self-harming thoughts, suicidal ideation.
So I'm a bit drunk. It's my little sister's 18th birthday, and I've been plied with champagne for around 4 hours straight. Alcohol and depression are not a good mix.
I miss my ex-partner so much. I just want to curl up and cry. I don't want to feel like this any more. I don't really want to be here any more.
I can talk to anyone about this at the moment because I don't want to ruin my sister's party, but right now I just want to self harm - maybe even kill myself. If I could just stop existing right now so I don't have to feel anything that would be great. Again, the thing keeping me from that is not wanting anyone in the family to find out that I get this bad, or take attention away from my little sister. I just can't cope any more. Fuck this life.
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